


negative space

by forlornopes



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Doomworld AU, F/F, Introspection, lowkey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 15:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10619997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forlornopes/pseuds/forlornopes
Summary: in a dream i'm a different mewith perfect youwe fit perfectly





	

~

 

Amaya slept with her hand to her throat. Just like anyone, her quirks in her sleep were special, intimate and revealing. But not necessarily sad. And yet, a twinge of _something_ \- grief, desperation, dissatisfaction - characterized the slight grasping of Amaya’s fingers as they slid over her neck in her sleep. Once, Sara had awoken her to ask what she was dreaming about when she did it. Amaya couldn't remember clearly. She said that in her sleep, she heard drumbeats.

 

Sara would tug on her wrist and kiss Amaya’s fingertips one after the other; watch a sleepy, knowing smile surface and fade as she drifted away again. Laying together in the early mornings, fresh from the shower after a night of work and luxuriating in the boneless fatigue that their bed invited was Sara’s favorite time of day. She could simply rest and soak in Amaya’s presence, eyes tracing the hypnotic slope of her jaw and the rise and fall of her chest. It was in these quiet moments before dawn with only the two of them, the rest of humanity distant, that Sara allowed her mind to wander.

 

Maybe they could be anyone together anywhere, and this bubble of safety would still be the cornerstone. When she and Amaya were together, her senses sharpened, colors became brighter - Amaya made the world feel more real. Forgetting their hunts and battles and victories was easy in here like this - too easy. Temptation to shake Amaya awake and ask her to run away with her creeped in on the nights when a bruise or cut marred her partner beside her. The violence and adrenaline, snapping of bone, stifled screams and spatters of blood should not follow them here; had no right to breach their home. Evidence of the outside was unnecessary and ugly and sickening. What they had was independent to all of that and neither they nor anyone else could ignore the strength of their connection. It was... inviolable.

 

“Do you ever feel like your heartbeat’s off?” Amaya would say things out of nowhere sometimes, her head resting against Sara’s chest or shoulder or belly, breathing deeply, skin cooling. “Like when you miss a step and wait to fall, but instead you just... carry that feeling around?”

 

“I usually just tumble down, fall flat on my ass and be done with it.”

 

Amaya chuckled. “Please. I know how graceful you are, Sara. You don’t fall.”

 

“ _Sure_ I do,” she said, clear and honest and giving it a moment to permeate warmly in the darkness. “But what do ya mean?”

 

Amaya slid her arm tighter around Sara’s waist and nuzzled the side of her face against her collarbone. “I don't know. I can never explain it right. Maybe it’s just me.”

 

Sara exhaled deeply and skimmed Amaya's temple with her bottom lip. “Well, gotta figure that’s gonna happen. You're not like anybody else, Amaya.”

 

Sara assumed that the silences after these interludes were comfortable ones and being on the same wavelength spoke for itself. Amaya tended to intuit motivations before they had even beaten a word out of sources and could predict when they were in for an ambush or double-cross when carrying out business. After enough incidents where her instincts had saved their asses early on in their partnership, Sara had decided to simply accept that there was a hint of the magical to Amaya Jiwe.

 

But there were times when Amaya would withdraw into herself to some place where Sara couldn't reach her, couldn't understand. She would stare out a window or at the moon and stars and sky. At birds and neighborhood pets. At frightened, feral strays and noctural creatures with unblinking eyes that stared back at her in the dark like they knew her.

 

“What are you looking at?” Sara would ask from behind her, mesmerized. Amaya could radiate an otherworldly quality when she got like that. Like she was seeing more than what was there; could see _through_ it. And she would grin over her shoulder, always a little lost at first, then wink and say “ _You,_  Sara. Who wouldn't? What else is there?”

 

But there was plenty in the world worth looking at. Being successful was important to them, and competency was paramount to what they did. And fun. Sara relished her job, perhaps moreso than Amaya, who was arguably the more professional of the two. If a long night ended in a hard-earned kill, Sara would want to celebrate but Amaya…

 

There was a hushed reluctance in Amaya that verged on regret and, thankfully, nobody recognized it but Sara. She didn't mind. Not everyone had the same standards for a sense of accomplishment and Amaya’s standards were high. But sometimes she felt a pang of guilt when she would glance to Amaya over a body, who was calm and impassive as Sara wiped the blood from her blade, beaming triumphantly. Because even if she gazed at Sara with pride, there was still an unnameable barrier behind Amaya’s eyes that troubled her.

 

If they could be anyone, thought Sara, gently brushing soft, dark hair away from Amaya’s sleeping face, Amaya would not choose this. And so Sara would allow her thoughts to waft away in these moments of peace. To try and imagine a different version of herself who would still fit snug in the negative space of Amaya’s body and soul. In these secret little intermissions from reality, Amaya could be someone else, and Sara didn't know how to overlap. She didn't know how to dream herself away.

 

The dawn began to peek in slices through the shades of their bedroom window. She pulled Amaya’s hand away from her neck once again and pressed her lips against her throat in a whisper of a kiss, yearning to replace what she sought in her sleep. Sara closed her eyes and tried to lull away the ominous drumming in her own heart that, she feared, beat perfectly.

 

~

**Author's Note:**

> I just opened a doc to write a fun Sara/Amaya Doomworld adventure and then I remembered how the Legion didn't allow Amaya to wear her family's necklace and then I talked to a friend about Nine Inch Nails and everything suddenly got dark and here we are. But seriously, Doomworld was a gift and I love this show.


End file.
